Grateful

Last night, after Jackson was asleep, I snuck into his room, sat down by his crib, held his hand and cried.

They were mostly happy tears.

I cried because I am so grateful for my many blessings. Yesterday, as I watched general conference, I was reminded how important it is to recognize and express your gratitude. I think I took it to heart, because I don't think my heart could have fit any more without exploding.

I cried because I read that a friend from high school gave birth to her second little girl at full term. My friend was fine...but her baby wasn't. She had a stillborn baby girl. As I looked at some of her pictures of the funeral, I realized how grateful I am that I have a healthy baby boy. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to be his mother. I love spending time with him. I love playing hide and go seek with him or peekaboo. I love seeing his face light up when he sees me. My heart was broken for my friend. I wish it didn't have to take other's misfortunes for me to be grateful for my blessings.

I cried because I am grateful for my health. I also watched a video clip about Stephanie Nielsen who was in a plane crash and her inspiring story. She is so grateful for her life and her family. I realized that I often take my health for granted. I am such a lucky girl.

I'm grateful for my beliefs. While I don't want to push my beliefs on anyone else, I do want to express how important they are to me. Yesterday, as I listened to the prophet and apostles speak, I felt the Holy Ghost witness to me that Christ knows me and loves me. I am not 'just another person'. I am His daughter. He loves me even more than I love Jackson, which is hard for me to comprehend. I know that life will not always be easy, but that I have a friend who is always there for me, my Savior. He is always listening and reaching out for me. This weekend made me feel more committed to progress. I want to become a better person, a better member of my church, a better mother and wife. I want to become better accquainted with my Elder Brother, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the knowledge I have and for the person it has helped me to become.

As I sat by Jackson's crib and thought about my blessings. Dallin and Jackson were first in my mind. I am so grateful for a husband who is truly my best friend. He is strong enough to hold me when I'm having a hard day. He is sensitive enough to know when it is best just to say nothing. He is funny enough to always make me laugh. He is observant enough to notice when I do the small things, like cleaning the bathroom and thank me for it. He is a wonderful dad to Jackson. I love to here him call Jackson "Sport" and play with him and make car noises when he's giving him a bath. I melt when I see them playing together or sharing tender moments. I feel more in love with Dallin today than I was the day I married him. What a wonderful man. I love you.

I love Jackson for so many reasons. I love him because he makes me smile. I didn't know my heart could hold any more love until the first time I saw him. He is so curious and loving. He's such a smart little boy. He even figured out how to open a ziploc bag so he could eat the graham crackers inside. I love his hugs and slobbery kisses. I love hearing him say "Ma ma ma" even if he isn't really sure what that means yet. Basically, I love being his mom and having the priviledge of getting to know him better and watching him explore the world.

I am also grateful for the time Dallin, Jackson and I get to spend together as a family. I would classify yesterday as "the perfect day". We spent the morning watching general conference. Then we went on a picnic to the park and grilled hot dogs and played with toys. We layed on the grass and enjoyed the last of this beautiful weather. We watched some more conference and played on the swings outside. We watched Kung Fu Panda and I cuddled with my boys. I gave Jackson a bath and he fell asleep in my arms while I was feeding him before bed as I sang to him and talked to him and told him how much I love him. Yep. A perfect day.